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Viewing all posts tagged "people are idiots"
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Big Drawing is a Hoax
Gee, I thought DHL always made huge, unnecessary loops in the middle of the Atlantic.
Now who will do this for REAL?
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Early iPhone Line Needs Geometrical Instruction
Note how the door to the entrace is a good 100ft behind them, and open.
After watching 4th of July video about these people trying to set the Guinness World Record for “longest time on line to buy something” I was skeptical that they weren’t, perhaps, just some ardent iFans hanging out in a relatively linear fashion by some admittedly geometrical architecture on a large national holiday.
The first question here is whether or not a line can form for a place that is open in the interm. Side A: If the place is open, there is no line. You’re just loitering. Lines can’t begin until the place is closed and you have to wait for the place to open with said desired item available. Side B: What about ticketmaster (remember ticketmaster lines?) where others could waltz right up and buy their Cure tickets, but you might be camped out for a week to get front row presale for Phish - or so I hear. Point: Side B. Uh oh, they might actually be in line!
The next question: Can you be in line when you’re not even near the door? I could waltz right up, sit down close to the entrance to eat my Cucina veggie panini sandwich and as I finish the overpriced iced tea decide, “Know what? I think I’ll just sit here and wait for the new iPhone. I mean, there’s no one ahead of me.” Point: there isn’t even another side to this one. Argument, fading…
The final point against this show of ridiculousness is that I actually did a search of the Guinness World Record website, and no record similar has ever been set. For some reason, I don’t think they’ve applied to be adjudicated, either. Point: universe.
My only solace is the first 3G iPhone line scare a few weeks ago, which I totally debunked by my daily unavoidable pass by the store, which lies between work and the subway. If these people are not there, I will be both vindicated and ashamed for noticing.
In summation, these people are dumb. Let’s all stop talking about them.
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Update: Early iPhone Line Needs Geometrical Instruction
Via my cameraphone.
I walked by the Apple flagship (ooh, ahh) store, rather unavoidably, on my way to the 5th Ave N/R/W station around 6:30pm yesterday. I was skeptical people were really waiting for the new iPhone already and decided to check it out. I now have seen it with my own eyes: There are totally people in line!
Hold your horses, though. First off, the press was there in almost equal number to the line-waiters, which was kind of cheesy. Second, huge chalk scrawlings on the sidewalk point walkers-by (but apparently not the media, which frequently fails to mention it) to waitingforapples.com. This site was either thrown on the web 2 days ago amidst a marijuana haze, or sometime in 1994. The look and feel is about the same. No surprise, these people are combining their “love of apples” (not publicity stunt, NOT publicity stunt) with a desire to “talk to whoever happens to stop by about local organic farming as a critical element to sustainable healthy living, food security, youth education, and climate change mitigation.”
So… Good, if hastily conceived idea? i guess. Completely ineligible for the World Record and most likely not even in a proper line? most definitely. Will received undue press coverage more for the massive corporation that is Apple than for their tiny organic collective? yup.
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Spoiler Alert: Artist Banksy is Just Some Guy
I’ll save you the trouble of reading the article:
The Street Artist Known As Banksy (TM) may be some guy named Robin Gunningham from Bristol who was upper-middle class and went to a fancy schmancy school… where he excelled at art. If you want to see a picture of the maybe-guy, feel free to click through.
You may now resume your normally scheduled programming… which I hope includes enjoying art for its own sake, not for the fluffernutter the artist (or the public) creates.
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Updates Available
Urgent! This patch resolves the issue that you forgot to install all that extra software that comes with Quicktime when you installed it to watch that thing at work sometime a month ago. Don’t think, just click!
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Talking with Chamillionaire at the Techcrunch party. SERIOUSLY!
He’s one of the most intelligent, unbelievably tech savvy people I’ve ever met. Really, really impressive.
Neither of them can code, or understand half of whats written on Slashdot, but I think its great that tech is trendy and well beyond the realm of pasty faced geeks. Everybody wants in now, even if they don’t have a clue what they’re doing, and that puts more money in the pockets of people who do know what they’re doing.
What he said.
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Congress: Somewhat Like Fifth Grade
It’s a little known fact that if your ring finger is longer than you index finger, you are like, totally gay. Congress is launching a full investigation.
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Reply To All + Recall Message = eFAIL
From: Jim - 10:07AM
Subject: Random Internal DocumentAll,
I have attached the [name of Random Internal Document].
Please can you review and amend the attached template return ASAP.
Please include in the template a group email address which can be used for contact.
N.B If you are no longer the contact person are you able to advise a group email or someone I can contact
Regards,
Jim=================
From: Beth - 10:10AM (Reply to All)
RE: Random Internal DocumentWhat is this? Thanks.
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From: Alyson - 10:11AM (Reply to All)
RE: Random Internal DocumentI don’t have this?
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From: Randall - 10:15AM (Reply to All)
RE: Random Internal DocumentWhat?
=================
From: Jim - 10:21AM
Recall: Random Internal DocumentJim would like to recall the message, “Random Internal Document”.
=================
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These things rarely work out
via CBS News
John Alfred Sharkey, 44, of Toms River, N.J., was held in the Olmsted County jail Wednesday in lieu of $125,000 bail.
Sharkey, who calls himself the “The Impaler,” ran as the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans party candidate for Minnesota governor in 2006, when he listed Princeton, Minn., as his address.
The criminal complaint says he was running for president in 2007 when the 16-year-old Rochester girl wrote a message of support on his MySpace page. She told police they began dating online, and the threats began when she tried to break off the relationship.
She told police that “in a desperate attempt” to get him to leave her alone, she had e-mailed him that she was a member of an elite vampire hunter society and that continuing their relationship would put him in danger.This story is the onion of news stories. You just keep peeling back the layers of awesome.
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Hahahahaa
A girl from my high school, who became a teacher at my high school, but then was asked to resign from said position because pictures of her surfaced online as part of the USA Bikini Team (well, pictures of her and her new breasts I should say) and who now, apparently, makes a living being the “host” of happy hours in Florida and elsewhere, just put up the following Facebook status:
“contact me about the new happy hour in Delray Beach! 4 to 7pm but goes all nite!”
Huh?
But it’s all good, because here’s a comment from the type of fellow that replies to that:
“Inquirerring minds want to know.”
That’s the Class of 2000 story that just keeps on giving.
Whenever the group of girls from our school that took this route pops up (there are several) I have a mini internal dialoge that sounds a lot like Frost’s Road Not Taken. I mean, she does look smokin’, while I am now on unemployment and need to find some visine because the coldass, dry winter air in my apartment is making me look like a psychobeast.
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Novelty Panties Generally Piss Me Off
Case in point:
These are supposed to be Split Reason’s idea of pro-women gamer wear? Puh-lease.
Then I saw these on RigheousBabe:
Now that is witty, playful, and takin’ it back. +1.
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Many Problems To Address
(via notalwaysright)
Post Office | Phoenix, AZ, USA
Customer: “Excuse me, I sent a letter last week but it came back. Can you tell me why?”
Me: “Sure, do you have it with you?”
(The customer hands it over. It doesn’t take long to figure out the problem.)
Me: “Oh, okay. You’re going to need a valid house address to have it sent.”
Customer: “I did put the address!”
Me: “That’s an email address, ma’am.”
Customer: “Yes, and it’s valid. I checked!”
Based on Postage by Greg Cooper. Everything heavily modified by me.
*Unlikely to find your lost post using this but you can try...
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